Recommended Reading List for Survivors (Books)

This is a non-exhaustive list of commonly recommended books for survivors of trauma&abuse to read. These and more can be accessed through the Mental Health Drive and the DID/OSDD Library.Trauma-Related:
The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete WalkerDissociative Disorders:
Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to DID by Tracy Alderman
Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation by Kathy Steele
My Life as a Dissociated Personality by B. C. A
The Haunted Self by Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der HartRAMCOA:
Becoming Yourself: Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse by Alison Miller

Commonly Used Emotional & Psychological Abuse Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe aspects of Emotional & Psychological Abuse.
Note that many of these terms are not at all exclusive to just Emotional & Psychological Abuse and may appear in other abuse types or outside situations as well.Abusive Cycle/Cycle of Abuse: A term which describes the repetitive, difficult-to-escape patterns of abuse and abusive relationships.Alienation: A term describing how an abuser may cut the victim off from others or otherwise isolate them.Baiting: A term used to describe purposeful provocation from an abuser in order to get a reaction out of the victim.Belittling: Comments or speech made to minimize, delegitimize, or otherwise put down the victim and/or their issues. This is often done while maintaining a facade of kindness or "just trying to help", or in a way which infantilizes the victim.
This term is generally considered to be synonymous with "condescending" and "patronizing".Blackmail: Using personal information in an attempt to control the victim, often involving use of threats of revealing sensitive or private information or content regarding the victim or their loved ones if the abuser's demands are not met.Blaming: The process or act of identifying the perceived person or reason behind a problem. This may be used by abusers to make the victim feel as though their abuse or trauma is their own fault, even when they are not the appropriate one to blame or accuse.Emotional Incest: A form of incest in which someone older (Often a parent or other caregiver) expects the child to take on the same role that a romantic partner would rather than maintaining an appropriate parent-child role, or having the child perform responsibilities that would usually be performed by a parental figure (Such as a single mother forcing the child to perform the role of a father figure to the child's younger siblings in place of the actual father). This may also be a form of Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, & Neglect depending on the exact circumstances.
Emotional Incest, despite the name, is not always inherently sexual.
Emotional Incest may take the form of a parent expecting the child to take care of them or their siblings, or to take on much heavier and more adult-oriented responsibilities than is age-appropriate.
This may also be referred to as a reversed parent-child role, or just "role-reversal".Favoritism: Treating one member of a group, such as within a family or a friend group, noticeably better than the other members of the group. It is the opposite of scapegoating. (See Scapegoat/Scapegoating below)Gaslighting: Convincing the victim that they are unreliable and to make them question their own lived reality and memories, often by denying that they are evaluating a given situation correctly or by denying that their memories are real. May also be used as a form of Mind Control.Harassment: Unwanted, often repeated actions or attention from another person with no concern for the victim's boundaries, consent, or safety.Scapegoat/Scapegoating: Treating one member of a group, such as within a family or a friend group, noticeably worse than the other members of the group. Often, the scapegoat is the one which is made to bear the blame of a situation, even when someone else is at fault, and others' anger is often directed the most at the scapegoat. It is the opposite of favoritism. (See Favoritism above)

Commonly Used Physical Abuse Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe aspects of Physical Abuse.Domestic Theft: Using or taking control of assets or currency shared by family member(s), a partner, or another close familial relationship without asking for permission first. [Also see Financial Abuse]Spanking: Hitting or striking the buttocks with either a hand or a tool (Such as a paddle or ruler), especially repetitively.

Commonly Used Sexual Abuse Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe aspects of Sexual Abuse.Incest: Sexual activities among family members (Whether there was physical contact or not)

Commonly Used Neglect Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe neglect.Hoarding/Hoarder: Collecting, buying, or storing items to an extreme extent, usually combined with the reluctance or refusal to let go of collected items. This is not always abuse, however when the items take up more space in the person's life than their own family, children, or relationships and begins to negatively affect the people living with them, it may be.
An example is hoarding items to the point where a child cannot sleep in their own bedroom because it is taken up by hoarded items and there is no room for them to fit on their own bed, or being unable to access your dresser because of items stored in front of it, or stairways or walkways being a safety hazard due to risk of slipping or falling on hoarded items, or mold growing on items or the walls causing possible health risks with regards to air quality.

Commonly Used RAMCOA Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe aspects of RAMCOA (Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, Organized Abuse).
To view a list of programming types, click here.Cue/Signal/Intentionally placed trigger: In the context of programming, this is a man-made and intentionally created trigger put in place and used in order to easily and automatically bring up desired responses or behaviors set by a programmer. [For a more in-depth explanation, see Programming (Main Article)]Handler: The person in charge of or in control of a victim or group of victims. Often also a programmer, but is not always. May control when the victim can eat, speak, think, and so on.Programmer: The person who installs programs and triggers in a subject/victim.Ritual/Ceremony: An action or event which carries symbolic meaning. This does not always involve other people (For example, carrying a "good luck charm") and can range anywhere from saying a prayer before dinner or a highschool graduation all the way to animal sacrifices.
Rituals and ceremonies are not always religious in nature, and do not always involve abuse.

Commonly Used Dissociative Disorder Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe aspects of Dissociative Disorders, especially within complex dissociative disorders (CDDs) such as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
*Please note that some terms may be used outside of dissociative disorders. This page is defining these terms as they are used specifically in the context of describing complex dissociation and explaining the other uses of these terms within the wider plural community is outside the scope of this Carrd.Alter/Headmate/Insider/Part/System Member: In the context of dissociative disorders, this is a dissociated part of a mind. Every part of a system, including the "fronting person" or "host" (If the system has one, as some systems do not), is a member of the system.
Note that some of these terms are more clinical in nature (Such as "Alter" and "Part"), while others have less clinical connotations (Such as "Headmate"). The terminology that each system uses will differ, so be sure to ask what language they are comfortable with.Blending ("Blendy"): The experience of two or more headmates temporarily having lowered dissociative barriers.Blurring ("Blurry"): The experience of not knowing who is fronting.Co-Conscious ("Co-con"): The experience of a system member watching front, though not fronting themselves.
Co-front (See below) is frequently used synonymously with this term.Co-Front: The experience of two or more system members controlling the body simultaneously.Fusion: The process of two or more system members becoming one.
  Final Fusion: All members of a system becoming one person.Fragment: A system member who is not as elaborate as others within the system, often holding little or no depth or personality, existing to hold small pieces of memory or function.Front: Relating to the outside world. A system member which controls the body is a "fronter", a system member coming forward or switching may be described as "coming to front", and a system member engaging with the outside world is "fronting".Headpressure: A feeling of pressure in the head which some systems experience when switching, splitting, or attempting to communicate or do memory work. Separate from a headache in that headpressure is described as being non-painful, though many systems also frequently experience headaches related to system activities.Innerworld: The space inside of the human mind. Both systems and singlets are capable of forming an innerworld, but this term is most commonly used in the context of systems. The innerworld is most often considered to be the place where each member of the system lives, or where internal communication between system members is held.
May also be called a "headspace" or "wonderland".Integration: The process of system members lowering the dissociative barriers between them, leading to better communication and shared memory.
Commonly confused with fusion (See above).Multiple: Another term for system, more commonly used by older systems. This term comes from the older label for what is currently known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), which was Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).Polyfragmented/Polyfrag: A system structure with high complexity, such as (Though not limited to) complex splitting patterns (Such as splitting in groups or in unusual ways, such as through body horror), expansive or dangerous innerworlds, elaborate system hierarchies, or high numbers of system members or fragments.Plural: The experience of several self-states, modes, identities, or individuals in one body. This is a community term which does not always refer to dissociative disorders, and also includes spiritual practices and non-traumagenic plurality (Referred to as endogenic systems).
Some dissociative systems do not like this term, be sure to ask what terms a system prefers before referring to them.Rapid Switching: Experiencing several consecutive switches (System members swapping who is in control of the physical body) very quickly.Singletons ("Singlets"): A person who is not multiple (Not a system).Splitting: The process of a new system member being created (Often subconsciously, out of a need for dissociation and separation of overwhelming information). May also be referred to as forming.
Some people use "forming" to describe more gradual splits, while others use the two terms synonymously.Switching: The process of one or more system members taking over fronting while the previous fronter takes a step back. When system members swap who is in control of the physical body, it is called a "switch".
  Non-Possessive Switch: A type of switch in which two system members gradually blend with each other in order to switch. Often described as "becoming" someone different rather than a different system member suddenly "taking over" like is more frequently described in possessive switches.
  Possessive Switch: A type of switch in which a system member suddenly "takes over" (Fronts). Associated with much less continuation or blending in identity, memories, feelings, and/or thoughts between the previous fronter and the new fronter during the switch than non-possessive switches. (Although the system may share these things generally, it is the lack of identity overlap during the switch itself which differentiates these two types of switches.)
Systems commonly experience both types of switches at different times.System: In the context of complex dissociative disorders, 'system' refers to multiple dissociated parts, identities, or people sharing one body.Traumagenic: A system formed from trauma.

Commonly Used Symptom-Related Terms

This is a non-exhaustive list of terms commonly used by survivors of trauma&abuse to describe various (often trauma-based) symptoms.Avoidance:Catastrophizing:Co-Dependency:Denial:Dependency:Favorite Person:Splitting: